Something old.. something new

"Usually when I feel sad or depressed, I either prefer to sit alone doing something I love or hang around the people I love. Since the later is not an option right now, I decided to go out alone. So here I am sitting alone in a café with the company of a book and a mocha.

This is the first time ever I go out alone. I’ve always seen people sitting alone in cafés and always wondered why they are alone. The idea of going out has been always associated with people. I always spend my alone time at home because going out means not being alone. But here I am alone in a café away from home writing this down. The strange thing is that I feel peaceful and more at place here than I felt an hour ago when I was surrounded with people.

I’ve never felt more out of place and I’ve never missed my home and my friends as much as I do right now. Being with people you’re not comfortable with is not easy. So today I was too annoyed to stay inside and I decided to go out even if I’m ALONE. I feel very comfortable and peaceful to my own amazement and I’m actually enjoying myself. "

I wrote this almost a year ago and I remember that day as if it were yesterday. I remember how awful I felt and how I decided to defy myself and everyone and just go out alone. I needed to clear my head so bad. I wanted to step out of that crazy world and step into a calm parallel universe. I felt awkward sitting alone at that café I have to admit. It was something totally new to me because going out for fun was never something that I did alone. To go further with the experiment I ordered something new too, instead of my usual latte I ordered a mocha and I liked that too.

I've always liked experimenting and trying new things but I have to say that sometimes taking a new step takes a little more courage than usual. It’s never easy to force yourself out of your own comfortable zone and step into the unknown. It’s not easy but it’s rewarding because you get to explore new ideas and find new things about yourself. Instead of staying wrapped up in your comfortable zone feeling isolated, go out there and do something out of character and maybe you’ll find something new to like. That day, when I was sad, alone and away from the comfort of the familiar I enjoyed being out alone and that was very NEW :)

Take a trip out of your comfort zone every now and then, you’ll enjoy it :)

An ending... A beginning :)

1\8\2011

Earlier today I was watching the finale of the Oprah show. It made me feel very sad and I even cried a little bit. The feeling of an end, a closure was in the air. Something about Oprah’s facial expressions as she talked about her 25 year journey touched my heart. I always feel a little sad when something I got attached to ends. It was the deep emotion of closing an important chapter in your life that touched my heart, not the ending of the show. Little did I know that in the same day I’d experience the same feeling. A few hours later I received a phone call from a friend telling me that our final test results were out and that we all passed and officially graduated college. I was ecstatic of course, even though I’ve known for several days and I knew that my college life has come to an end, now it’s official. I am no longer a student. The final chapter of my life as an adolescent is done and now I’m an adult.

As the feeling settled in after a couple of hours I felt happy, excited and a little sad. I don’t like endings and I don’t like beginnings either, it’s the middle that I always love. I can confidently say that I had a full, enjoyable, educating and satisfying college experience. I’m happy that I can say that I enjoyed my college experience even with its depressing, frustrating moments. I thank God for leading me to experience everything in college especially the hang outs and the student activities.

Today it became official and final. Even though I was striving for it to end, it’s a little sad that it really did end. I’m going to miss everything, not the studying part of course because I’d be lying if I said I’d miss that lol. I’m content and satisfied El Hamdu-l-Allah.

Another chapter of my life has ended, now it’s time to write a new one ;)