He stood by the window, watching the sun as it goes down. Sunsets are often romantic but to this man it was as if the sun was going down taking his life with it.
Sunsets always reminded him of her. He remembered how she’d take a picture of the sunset wherever she goes and he smiled in spite of himself.
Too soon the smile was gone and his eyes were screaming with the pain and he sighed the words
“I Miss You”.
He sighed again and closed the curtains.
“Wake up you’re turning to a masochist. Sunsets always break your heart over her all over again, why do you insist on watching it?
Yes, it reminds you of her. But do you really need reminders. You remember her in every breath you take. You could still feel her around you. Wake up you need to let go.”
“But how can I let go, How can I get over the one person that mattered in my life....... Can you get over your soul mate? Your true love?? ”
As his heart and his mind argued , he held her picture in his hands and just lost himself in her smile. A smile that he’d give away his whole life just to have it lighting up his world once again.
He took the picture, walked over to the piano and just sat there.
How long he stayed that way, he doesn’t know. But suddenly it was like someone has just slapped him. He put the picture on the top of the piano facing him, and for the first time in months his fingers touched the keys. He started to play a song. HER SONG.
“I’ll never stop loving you, no matter how long I stay alive no one will ever claim my heart but you”
He said those words as if she was standing right in front of him. And he broke in to tears as he played her song.
He remembered how she used to love to hear him play. How she’d stay for hours just listening to whatever melody he plays for her. He hasn’t touched his piano since she was gone until today. He felt her presence around him and he wanted to play for HER like he always did.
And the song came to an end. He held the picture again.
“I know you didn’t leave me. I could still feel you around me.......I wish I could hold you just one more time and tell you how much I love you and only you.”
He sighed.
“I know you want me to move on and start living again. ..........I want you to know that life holds no interest for me without you but I’ll live. ..........I’ll live only to fulfill your last wish. I’ll live only for you my love.”
He kissed the picture and put it back.
He had promised her in the last minutes of her short life and It was now time for him to live without HER.
She closed her bedroom door, turned on the lights and headed for the bed.
“Alone at last” she sighed to herself .
As she gazed at the wall for what seemed like a very long moment, she slowly let the hopeful, optimistic façade fall. In the place of her bright smile was now a frown as she battled with the thoughts inside her head.
The minute she let her guard down, without any permission her eyes gave in and tears started running down her cheek. She just sat there, staring at the wall, allowing her agony to overwhelm her as she sank further in her pain.
Like she always does when she feel helpless, she picks up her diary and starts writing.
“I don’t think I can take it anymore. I feel so helpless. I don’t know for how long I’ll have to deal with this. For how long I’ll have to run and pray for all of it to just go away. If only I had a choice. If only I had another option. But I don’t…”
She was allowing herself to fall apart. She’s been keeping it all inside for so many days, she can’t keep holding herself together anymore. She just had to let it all out and she started sobbing.
“I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get over it. But again how can I when it always comes back haunting me. If only I could tell. If only I could share this agony with someone, without worrying about hurting them with my words or about them not being trustworthy. But I can never talk about it. I have absolutely no one to help me with this burden but myself. The only consolation I have is that maybe someday I’ll trust someone enough to let them inside my heart. I just need someone to talk to when I cannot talk to everybody else. Someone I’d trust with my life, my soul and my deeply wounded heart. Well I can only pray for him to come soon. I’m not sure for how long I’ll be able to hold on.”
She started to calm her self down. She started talking herself out of going any further with this breakdown. She turned to the only savior that can truly save her.
“God, I have no one but you to help me. I know you chose this life for me for a reason. Please, help me stay strong.”
She felt a little bit better. She took a long deep breath and managed to stop sobbing. she closed her diary and wiped her tears. She shoved all those thoughts away, put on her lovely smile and headed out of her room.
Her moment of despair was over…
The paths we walk,
And the choices we make.
We are who we are,
Because of the roads we take.
Where are we going?
It’s always a mystery,
Eventually all of it will be history.
Sometimes we laugh,
Other times we cry.
Some days we lose hope,
And other days we try.
Everyday is a new journey,
And the destination is life.
Every second there’s a chance,
To start over and be in advance.
There’s always a chance,
For you to change your life.
Because everyday is a new chapter,
In the story of our lives.
