The "I don't care bubble".

He said: You have issues with life!

I said: What issues?!

He said: You over analyze everything, you think too much and you care about everything too much.. You need to chill and be carefree.. Nothing matters.

Now I really don’t remember the whole conversation because it’s been a couple of years now, but it stuck with me “You have issues with life”.. Well I do have issues with life, so it didn’t bother me to have a colleague telling me that. I do over analyze and I do care too much for almost everything. However, the attitude really bother me.. I’m perfectly aware of the issues I have with life. I’ve been hurt, I’m still broken and I still keep getting disappointed by people that I care about. Of course I have issues and it doesn’t scare me.. not at all.

My friend here thinks that life is being carefree all the time, never letting anything or anyone bother you.. Never to care enough about anything or anyone to be bothered actually. I admit that his attitude bothered me every time I talked to him..

I have issues and so does everybody else. I have moment where it’s just very difficult to breath and carry on. There are moments when I just want to give up and jump into a numb state. But here I am; I smile, I care and I’m hopeful… most of the time.  I have faults and I tend to be a little bit too dramatic but hey don’t forget  “ I have issues”. The truth is issues is a very big part of life.

I refuse to live inside a bubble, where I don’t care about anything or anyone and nobody care about me either.. I refuse to be cold and numb fooling myself into thinking that life is just having fun without a care in the world.. I refuse to isolate myself and never let anyone get close enough to me so I don’t get hurt.

Would living inside the “I don’t care” bubble be safe, fun and easy?.. hell yes.. but again would it be really living ?.. I don’t think so.. I gladly refuse to step into the bubble and have everyone wondering how I’m just always cheerful and seem to be having no troubles. I refuse the kind of life that my friend chose and brags about.

I state, just as proudly, that I have issues with life and I struggle with them everyday.. Sometime I win, sometimes I don’t. It’s a part of who I am.. I choose to fight and struggle over losing the ability to feel..

I have issues.. I’m proud.. It means “I’m alive” and I’m experiencing life with everything it has to offer..

Don’t fall for the illusion of the beautiful carefree and easy going “bubble”. It’s a false feeling of security and comfort; you’d find out that you missed out on life when you realize that being inside a bubble is the same as not living at all.

January 25 >> February 11: The birth of a new Egypt

 

11-2-2011

     A day no one will ever forget. I woke up just like any other say since the Egyptian uprising started in January 25. I was still feeling annoyed, well annoyed is really an understatement I felt that someone has knocked the breath out of me, anyway I was still annoyed because of the two very unsatisfying speeches that both our former president and vice president delivered. I fell into the routine of eating and flipping through the news channels waiting for something to happen. I watched as millions gathered in El-Tahrir square and everywhere in Egypt. The day went by just like every other day, until they announced that there will be a statement from the presidency… To be honest, I wasn’t feeling very optimistic about it. Sometime later, I was in the kitchen and suddenly my mom yells “He stepped down”. I dashed through the room, my eyes searching for the TV. As they re-announced that the president has stepped down.

     If we rewind, from the beginning of this truly amazing uprising, you’d find that the Egyptian youth started this and they went on with their plans even when most of the people didn’t believe that they can change the regime. They stayed and defended their point of view until more and more people joined them, then it was transformed from a youth uprising into a peoples uprising. They made everyone believe that this change COULD happen, when most of Egyptians were stuck with depression and negativity. They helped change how the whole country thinks. They stood up against the corruption. They faced all the brutal attacks for the sake of change and for the sake of EGYPT.

     Some people were against this uprising. Some of them might have some concerns that are right, but this uprising changed history and the future WILL be more beautiful Insha’Allah. I support this uprising. I’ve watched the news for 17 days, anticipating every move and desperately wanting to join the protests. Unfortunately I didn’t get that chance to join, but I was there with my heart and my mind. I prayed to God to save those brave, courageous and powerful Protestants. I and everyone else owe our future to these people. They should be respected and they should be thanked.

     The downside of this uprising is the death of some of those Protestants. My heart goes out to all the families that lost a loved one, but they are not lost they will be awarded in paradise. These people didn’t die in vain; these people died for a cause, for EGYPT. They’re all in our hearts..

     Change in everything was a result of this uprising. It wasn’t only the fall of the regime; it was the fall of many negative, false and unhealthy ideas. Now, Egyptians believe in themselves a lot more than they did before January 25. They understand their rights, they know they can change what they don’t want and they are more politically aware than ever. The Egyptian people changed inside and out. I believe that this uprising touched every single Egyptian and changed his or her way of thinking.

     Personally speaking, I was never interested in politics but now I can’t seem to get enough of it. I became highly aware of everything around me and I found out that I really love this country. I’m sure that the majority felt the same way; it awakened everything that was suppressed for many years. People realized that they have the power to change their world but they just never used it.

     This day, February 11 is the birth of new Egypt. Thousands went to the streets to celebrate the fall of the regime. I couldn’t join the protests but I certainly joined the celebrations. Egypt was singing and dancing; people everywhere were waving the flag and cheering. I was walking down one of the very famous streets in Cairo and everywhere I looked people were smiling and cheering. Adults, teenagers and kids everyone was in the streets celebrating. Whenever my eyes meet a stranger they’d smile to me. I felt that I was surrounded by my family. The atmosphere was overwhelming. It was defiantly a night to remember. Egypt was celebrating its new birth in the usual Egyptian warm, funny, active and festive spirit.

     I’m proud of this uprising. I’m proud that I witnessed this uprising and I’m very optimistic about the future. I know it’s not going to be easy; I know that a lot needs to be done and that we all need to work together. I realized how much this country matters to me. Before this uprising I loved this country because I had to, now I love it because I really feel that I’m part of it and because I felt how much it hurts to feel that it could be harmed. This uprising was very enlightening in so many ways.

     Egypt, we’re so very sorry that we kept you waiting for so long. We will never allow anyone to use you for their own benefits again. We will make the future beautiful because we know we can and we love you that much.

     To those people who made this day possible. I thank you, all Egyptians thank you. We owe our future to you. I wish I had the chance to join you and I’m sure that many others like myself had the same wish but since I couldn’t I will do my best to revive this country. Now it’s every Egyptian obligation to do everything he or she can to improve our beloved country EGYPT.

Long live EGYPT.

I’m Egyptian and very very PROUD.

The birth of a new blog..

My dear readers,

I announce the birth of my new blog, in which I write in my mother language "Arabic". I've been wanting to take this step for months and I finally did it. I hope those of you who can read Arabic enjoy that blog as much as they enjoy this one. English is still my passion and I'm happy to explore new horizons so wish me luck :)

http://ta7t-elyasmena.blogspot.com/