The "I don't care bubble".

He said: You have issues with life!

I said: What issues?!

He said: You over analyze everything, you think too much and you care about everything too much.. You need to chill and be carefree.. Nothing matters.

Now I really don’t remember the whole conversation because it’s been a couple of years now, but it stuck with me “You have issues with life”.. Well I do have issues with life, so it didn’t bother me to have a colleague telling me that. I do over analyze and I do care too much for almost everything. However, the attitude really bother me.. I’m perfectly aware of the issues I have with life. I’ve been hurt, I’m still broken and I still keep getting disappointed by people that I care about. Of course I have issues and it doesn’t scare me.. not at all.

My friend here thinks that life is being carefree all the time, never letting anything or anyone bother you.. Never to care enough about anything or anyone to be bothered actually. I admit that his attitude bothered me every time I talked to him..

I have issues and so does everybody else. I have moment where it’s just very difficult to breath and carry on. There are moments when I just want to give up and jump into a numb state. But here I am; I smile, I care and I’m hopeful… most of the time.  I have faults and I tend to be a little bit too dramatic but hey don’t forget  “ I have issues”. The truth is issues is a very big part of life.

I refuse to live inside a bubble, where I don’t care about anything or anyone and nobody care about me either.. I refuse to be cold and numb fooling myself into thinking that life is just having fun without a care in the world.. I refuse to isolate myself and never let anyone get close enough to me so I don’t get hurt.

Would living inside the “I don’t care” bubble be safe, fun and easy?.. hell yes.. but again would it be really living ?.. I don’t think so.. I gladly refuse to step into the bubble and have everyone wondering how I’m just always cheerful and seem to be having no troubles. I refuse the kind of life that my friend chose and brags about.

I state, just as proudly, that I have issues with life and I struggle with them everyday.. Sometime I win, sometimes I don’t. It’s a part of who I am.. I choose to fight and struggle over losing the ability to feel..

I have issues.. I’m proud.. It means “I’m alive” and I’m experiencing life with everything it has to offer..

Don’t fall for the illusion of the beautiful carefree and easy going “bubble”. It’s a false feeling of security and comfort; you’d find out that you missed out on life when you realize that being inside a bubble is the same as not living at all.