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he always knew she was different. She never understood why sometimes people criticized her actions. She had her own way of perceiving the world. She knew of all the deceit and betrayal out there in the world but she never let fear control her actions. She always trusts her intuition even though sometimes it fails her and she gets hurt.They always tell her not to be so open, convincing her that it makes her too vulnerable and she would regret it in the end. Her mother tells her in a motherly advice to guard her actions and keep in mind what will other people think. This statement always bothers her, why should she live according to what other people expect? It seems so stupid to her to do things according to other people’s perceptions.
She’s neither stupid nor silly. She knows perfectly well the dangers of the wicked world she lives in. she knows that there will always be people who will betray and hurt her. She knows that she will make mistakes sometimes and fall apart. She knows all that but she simply can’t be someone else. She tried to be cold and guarded; she tried not to be open and friendly with people who are new to her. She tried to conceal her feelings and her true nature; she tried to behave the way people expected from her. She wasn’t happy; She lost herself and ended up pleasing everyone but herself.
People tell her that she’s nice to the point of idiocy sometimes. As if being nice is some flaw. She’d rather pay the price of that flaw than be anything other than herself. She knows that her personality is both her blessing and her curse. She knows that she will suffer but she also knows that it will bring her joy. No matter what anyone thinks of her, some may perceive her as a silly, naive or weak person. Some people may criticize her intuitive nature and her spontaneity. Some may blame her for not thinking about how her actions may be perceived by other people. In the end she will always be herself, she’d given up so much already and she’s not willing to give up that. If people don’t accept her the way she is, then they don’t deserve her presence.
I loved it :). I respect who you're and i sensed the energy conveyed through your words. They've been written with sincerity and persuasiveness.
ReplyDeleteI think that what you're holding on to is the healthiest way to feel good about yourself :).
The way I see it is this:
ReplyDeleteWhat other people think does matter, but it shouldn't matter to me more than anything else. I care to some degree how I'm being perceived by others, because it might be that they are not understanding me, or that I'm communicating things that I don't intend. But, in the end, if I do things that violate the core of who I am in response to the expectations of other human beings, if I bow down to their wishes for their reasons with some vague notion of placating them, well, then I've made an idol out of them, which is an extremely unhealthy way to live.
I totally agree. it' not a healthy way to live at all !
ReplyDelete