You & Me

I had an image of you drawn in my mind.

I've always wondered about who you are.

I had a million questions with no answers.

I was never able to silence the yearning I had for you.

I always wanted to know you and let you know me.

I was scared that this day may never come.

I'm still scared.

I say that I gave up on the idea.

I say that I don't really care about it anymore.

They believed it, I believed it.

But the yearning in my heart hits me every time I'm close to you.

I didn't give up, I still care.

And that hurts.

I pushed myself to try again,

I forced myself, ignoring all the aching in my heart.

I tried one more time to get close to you.

I tried not to get my hopes high.

I promised myself I wouldn't expect too much.

But I did hope for a change, a change that I know is impossible.

And that hurts.

I'm here but you can't see me.

You only see what you want to see.

I've tried to tell you, to explain how I felt.

You pretended to listen, you promised me a change.

But I know now that my words didn't affect you.

I know that I'll never get what I need from you.

You will never be mine the way you're supposed to.

You pretend that you're here,

I pretend that you're here.

But deep in my heart I know you will never really be here.

You were gone long ago, and you didn't look back.

And that hurts.

I see my place claimed by another,

I see what should've been mine.

And I try to pretend that it's okay.

It's not okay.

It will never be okay.

I knew I wouldn't like the answers,

But I wanted them anyway.

Not knowing was a nightmare,

and knowing is hell.

I'm tired of you and me.

I can't escape you.

I can't ignore you.

I still belong to you.

And I'm still waiting for you.

I ignore everything that will destroy your image.

It torments me but I have to do it.

I have to still hope for a change,

Even if I know that it might never come.